My name is Farhana. I live in Melbourne, Australia. I work in corporate HR for BP Headquarters here. My childhood was split into two parts. I was born and raised in Saudi Arabia till the sixth grade where my baba still had his own business, and after the sixth grade I moved to Dhaka, Bangladesh to be with my mother from the sixth till the twelfth grade. After my A levels, I moved to Melbourne to pursue higher studies at the University of Melbourne.

2. How did you become an influencer and a comedian? What inspired you?

It was a completely happy accident. I came back from this Bangladeshi Eid-er-Dawat, that I had attended after losing a lot of weight and all the bhabis and aunties saw me. They pounced on me, I came home mimicking their reactions on video and I just thought I would upload it. I still remember that night, it had twenty one views before I went to sleep and I was like WOW! Twenty One people saw my video! And then the next day my younger brother woke me up and said Apu Tumi Viral Hoye Geso! And that’s it, the rest is history, as they say.

3. What’s the meaning of your Instagram name ‘munatic’? Is there a specific reason behind it?

It’s a spin of the word LUNATIC. My friend used to call me Munatic.

4. How do you come up with your content?

Honestly, a lot of it is based on personal experiences, navigating life as a middle class Bangladeshi woman; but also a lot of it is heavily based on social observation. So, please keep inviting me to those Dawats so I can continue to research more content!

5. How did you explain this journey to your family when you first started? Who was the most supportive?

If I were to be completely honest, I don’t think anyone except my youngest brother is superbly supportive and understands what I do. They love reading my interviews and hearing about me on the news and all of that. In terms of supporting, making content and putting myself out there, they are not from a school of thinking or from a generation that looks upon this very fondly. And also a lot of my content is based on my parents. My mum would always tell me ever since childhood that tomar mathae shomosha ase, there’s something wrong up there. She would say I don’t know what I did to you when you were a baby, I dropped you on your head maybe. This is the age I should be having four or five grandchildren and you are in front of a camera, and my mum calls YouTube ‘Tube’, which is very cute; So she would say “Tube ey camerar shamne khali dhapra dhapri korish!”

6. How many projects have you worked on so far? Did you discover something yourself through these projects?

I think in terms of projects, I’ve been very privileged and blessed to work on a number of projects. The ones that are the closest to my heart and I am really proud of are the ones I did with UN Women. UN Women and I collaborated a few times, whether it was making a funny video regarding Covid or female stereotyping; I’ve also had the privilege of co-facilitating a workshop for them on social media and how to use it as a tool for empowerment for a lot of women in rural areas they work with. I’ve also had the pleasure of launching  project AARNA two months ago. It is about a series of webinars disrupting the status quo on domestic violence, gender based violence. So it’s a spectrum of things. Last but not the least, I hold very very close to my heart and I count as an absolute privilege of working on all the mental health projects; whether it is a collaboration video or like a panel and interview, or anything that helps spread the message to break the stigma around mental illness.

What did I learn about myself-I think I first started back in 2015, it was all about entertainment and mimicry and caricature characters, copying what Bengali aunties, uncles and moms do. But I have evolved. I started when I was around 25, now I am 31. The risks that I take now with the kinds of content that I very recently started making especially around satire social issues, I don’t think I would have taken those risks back then. The kind of comedy that I am recently doing its very tongue and cheek, it pushes envelopes, it’s very satirical and sarcastic. Obviously I still have so much more to learn, but now I have a lot more courage to be very authentic to who I am and what matters to me. Sometimes it works really well, sometimes it doesn’t.

7. How did you come up with an idea of Project Arna and what is the motive behind it?

Project ARNA came about when I saw a series of social media post victim shaming a victim of domestic violence. It made me realize a lot of the attitudes and prejudices people have around domestic violence. They truly do not understand how difficult it is for an abused victim to leave an abusive situation, and how vicious the cycle of abuse is from a psychological perspective. So I thought I should do something about this matter myself, not just leave it to a series of social media post. I started project AARNA to make a series of webinars, where professionals who have a lot of frontline experience in dealing with domestic violence victims from many different angles- whether its legal, whether its psychological, whether it is from a social work perspective, and real life survivors will come directly and tell their stories on how they’ve exited and rebuild their lives post domestic violence and what were a lot of difficulties they faced.

8. According to you, why do women still stay in abusive relationships/marriages?

Domestic Violence is a very complex factor. There are many things that influences a woman’s decision to stay.

1. 1. Our social, cultural and some people use religion as an excuse, conditioning. Most of the time women in our country are conditioned to accept some of the toxic norms of the patriarchy. A lot of us do not even know how to recognize abuse. We sometimes even justify physical violence because we were raised to be a punching bag of a man, we were raised to accept that if we don’t fit a certain mould and if we don’t get our husband’s approval for everything and fit the box of being a perfect wife and a perfect mother then we deserve to be treated like second class citizens. I think a lot of that is social cultural conditioning.
   2. Second is economic reasons as to why a woman stays in abusive relationships. They don’t have income, they don’t have family support because of which they find it hard to survive on their own.
   3. Another reason is that it is a heavily stigmatized topic. No one is going to ask the perpetuator as to why they have abused the women. Everyone is going to point at and going to judge the woman. That adds to the reason for leaving abusive marriage.
   4. The other fundamental point that needs to be talked about more is the psychological aspect. When you are in an abusive relationship, you doubt yourself, you suffer from low self-esteem, might even suffer from depression because of which you feel you do not have the emotional or mental strength and resilience to exit because you are so affected and you feel so small and weak from being in an abusive relationship. It is sort of asking someone to operate on their own wound while they are bleeding.

9. What’s the best thing someone can do when seeking help? Whom should they trust for support and justice?

The fundamental mind-set should be ZERO TOLERANCE. Zero tolerance towards domestic violence in any of its forms. Do not justify your partner’s violent behaviour in any shape or form. You did nothing to deserve the violence- whether it is psychological, emotional, physical, or sexual. Your partner is a grown adult who is very well capable of making the choice to manage their reactions and anger. You are not anyone’s punching bag. So that’s the mind-set that will give you the courage to say that I Do Not Accept This Kind of Behaviour.

Coming to the question of what can women do- Get your advice from the experts, from the professionals, there are many organizations like BLAST, that provide lots of good information and lots of quality advice, legal advice, on what their rights are and what are some of the ways that they can mediate the problem. There are many women support groups, talk to them, most importantly talk to people who will encourage you to stand for your rights. As an abuse victim you are already very vulnerable, if you talk to people who advice you to stay in the abusive marriage, or try a bit more or he is your husband and allowed to hit you, you have to tolerate because you are a women and married and have kids, then you are not going to get the courage. Whereas if you do speak to people who have exited such relationships, if you speak to people who have experience in helping other women, then you have a much stronger chance of pulling through.

10. There have been mixed reviews on the Indian movie ‘Thappad’, as some people are saying that it depicts the misogyny in today’s world and others are saying that the divorce was an overreaction that slapping your wife once should be forgiven. What do you have to say about it?

To full disclosure I haven’t seen the movie myself but I have read articles and blogs. My understanding of it is that people even today, no matter how progressed and modern we are, when it comes to concepts like marriage we still operate in absolutes and extremes. So for us when it comes to violence maybe leaving a marriage 20 years ago was not acceptable. Nowadays maybe it is somewhat acceptable, but even within that acceptance there is a spectrum. So if you leave your husband for mild or moderate abuse which can be pushing, shoving, name-calling, then that’s not counted as a reason to leave the marriage. You are only allowed to leave in an absolute violent situation where you are bruised and battered and you are bleeding. SO that’s the threshold, the saturation point we have for women. That’s why the movie THAPPAD was not only about that one slap but about the emotional and the psychological abuse as well. In regards to that one slap, if that one slap is unacceptable, as it should be, to the women, and that the husband showed no remorse, no signs of changing, does not even recognize, that’s how deep his entitlement is that he does not even recognize he did a wrong thing, then she has every right to exit the situation. We can’t point fingers and judge as spectators. It’s the woman who is going through that. When a marriage breaks who gets the most affected? The people in it. It is very easy for us to point fingers and judge, but when the person in the marriage decides the saturation point, we should respect that decision.

11. What are your views on the fact that so many women are raising their voice against abuse on social media via the #MeToo movement?

I think it’s a long time coming. For the longest of times, our voices, our stories, our narratives have been oppressed, have been manipulated, have been dictated, it is fantastic and empowering to see so many of my sisters talking their stories in their own hands. We are not depending or waiting around for people to tell our stories through their lenses. We are raising our own voices and shaping our own narratives. We are the architects of our own future. It does come with a lot of shame and judgement and criticism but I also think that there is an overwhelming amount of support from other women as well, and men allies although they are few in number but they are there. So I am immensely proud and I walk on the foundation of great women who fought the battle before me and have paved the way for me to be here today.

13. What are the best 3 things your followers have said to you, and when?

I love it when my followers read my captions or look at my videos, and are inspired to change something in their own life. For example I have gotten many followers who watch a vlog or read a caption on one of my mental health posts and they share how because of that they have been able to open up on such issues. Many women wrote to me on Project ARNA, saying after the webinar they realized they are in an abusive situation and now they are getting the help and support they need to stop the abuse, which I am really really proud of. I also love it when my female followers counter attack the many male misogynists who try to troll my videos. I don’t share a lot of these because they are very graphic but not a day has gone by where I haven’t received an email or a DM from a follower who is struggling with mental health or domestic violence situation. I talk to them, a lot of the times I refer them to lawyers, organizations that can help them. So a lot of my job offline or behind the camera is referring people to the right services and right people.

14. What is the best piece of advice you have gotten during the hardship you were facing in your life?

There is actually 2

1. 1. Do not take criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice.

2. You are not what you have been told, you are what you have created.

15. How are you spending your home-quarantine?

I work full-time, so work keeps me busy. Outside of work, I love reading. I am constantly reading, I am doing a meditation course, I am doing an online course on psychology, and I am spending lots of quality time with my daughter as well. And I have recently started adopting plants. I no longer judge people who talk to their plants. I never owned a plant in my entire life, and now I own 10 or 15 already.

16. Who is your favourite influencer that you worked with/would like to work with?

Very recently I love Keto bhai, he is just so down to earth, so relatable. We share a similar style so I would love to work with him.

17. Who is your favourite comedian?

Ali Wong.

18. Which 3 comedy films are your all-time favourites?

The Terminal, 3 Idiots, and I don’t watch a lot of television and I don’t even own a T.V

19. What would you like to suggest your followers regarding their mental health during this pandemic?

Look after your mental health as you are looking after your physical health, it is as important and real as your physical health. The second wave or aftermath of this pandemic will be a bit of a crisis. So make sure you are proactively talking about it and managing it well and taking all the right steps.